Have you ever shouted across the chasm of time
And begged yourself to take another path?
Wondering what might have been,
Tormented by hindsight’s clarity.
Whether you walk this way or that,
Some seeds will never come to be,
Flowers will wither
And doors will close.
Some choices are made in good faith,
Others clouded with fear and desperation,
Only one path.
No going back now.
You stand at a fork in the road,
Many paths lie ahead,
Choosing one will sacrifice the others,
But choose you must.
That’s beauty of it, you see.
Each of us has a blank canvas
And a multitude of different colours.
Each person’s painting is unique,
Manifested from infinite potential,
Defined by the paints that are not used
Just as much as the ones that are.
How will you paint yours?
The other day, I came across an amazing sculpture in the Walker Art Gallery. It depicted a young woman, her eyes distant and vague as though she was lost in a trance, with her hand hovering out in front of her. She was beautiful and mysterious and totally captivating. I honestly could’ve stared at her all day (and no, it wasn’t because she was naked!).
There were many statues in that room, but there was just something about this entranced woman that was so enchanting. The description beneath the piece said that it was originally exhibited in 1892 with the following lines:
Fate leading, she must needs go on and on
Blindly, yet fearing not, till the goal be won.
To me, this spoke absolute volumes. Many of us are led by faith or by a purpose in life and tentatively follow the path set out before us, often wondering if it is the right one. But this woman has such unwavering faith in her destiny and is not afraid, succumbing completely to the higher powers that guide her.
Ideas of faith and “being guided” feature very prominently in my fantasy trilogy, so I was very pleased to see this sculpture. Perhaps there is something that we can all learn from it.
Why am I made to feel like a failure for not having a job? Why am I judged for following my passions? Every day, I work towards making my dreams a reality and yet because I’m not earning an income, nobody seems to agree with what I’m doing. Some people probably think that I’m taking advantage of my girlfriend – that it is unfair that she has to work and I don’t – but I didn’t create these circumstances. If there were jobs out there, then I would take one and help contribute to the household. I have done this before and I would happily do it again.
I truly admire my girlfriend for keeping a roof over our heads. When she gets frustrated with her job, I feel her pain because it dismays me when she is upset. Yes, the situation is unfair, but I can’t pluck a job out of thin air. And the last three times that I’ve landed myself a job, I haven’t even passed the probation period… what does that tell you? Dare I say that I’m not suited to certain working environments? Is it so wrong that I thrive best when I am my own boss creating my own work? Traditional employment has not worked out well for me so far, so where is the harm in me exploring other options?
Many people would tell me to grin and bear it, just because that’s what everyone else does… but I refuse. I refuse to submit to something that goes against my way of life. Sure, I might get jobs to help pay for the bills, but I will never give up on my dreams. My heart will never be invested in workplace politics and mundane tasks. There is a reason that I keep failing my probation and it has nothing to do with how much effort I put in (because I always give 100%, even when my heart isn’t in it)… the reason they keep letting me go is because I’m not suitable.
So why would I want to apply for certain jobs that I know I’m not suited to, just because they’re available? Must I apply for every job vacancy just because it’s a job? Will I only succeed in life once I become employed? Somehow, I get the impression that I will only be viewed as successful once I have a job, no matter what the job happens to be. And even if I become a published author, then I strongly suspect that some people still wouldn’t acknowledge my success, as it wouldn’t fit in with their ideas about traditional employment. But that doesn’t matter because I plan on following my dreams anyway.
Life is short, my friends! Do what you can with the time that is given to you. If you have a hobby or a passion, then don’t neglect it. I usually don’t care much for the opinions of others (especially those of naysayers) but occasionally, a narrow-minded remark can slip through your defenses, which is why I produced this angry rant. For those of you that can relate to my frustration, know that you are not alone. The problem lies not with you, but with the way that society works. Our greatest challenge in life is being ourselves in a world that wants us to be like everyone else… ignore the judgement of others and take the path that’s right for you.